Wednesday, December 28, 2011

in with the new

I've been struggling with my back since I lifted that flat of Japanese Turnips at the farm a few months ago. Struggling. I've begun writing again as I try to work through all aspects of back pain. Lower back indicates a feeling of being overwhelmed, a lack of financial and emotional support, and a shaky foundation.
Last August we decided to pull the rug out and try to create more meaningful lives (with less 'formal' employment), and have decided to move come spring. Lots of uncertainty there, but so much creativity and freedom and excitement! Our finances have been uncertain, yet we've had enough, and at times have had wonderfully unexpected gifts from wonderfully unexpected sources. I feel fully supported in my emotional, spiritual, and creative endeavors by those closest to me.
Sooo, why the continued manifestation of dis-ease in my back? I look to a lack of self acceptance and support. Being hard on myself for not meeting lofty expectations. Falling into old patterns of struggle between dependence/independence. Getting my back cracked today and hoping to get clearance to begin Pilates classes again. As I work within for health I will work with my body to gain strength. I've got a home to manifest, a chicken coop to build and a garden to start come spring!
Moving toward the new conscientiously, with intent, with love, with joy...

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