I could say, do: honor grief, don't: deny grief, but it boils down to the one word, regardless. Grief. There are so many ways to feel it. So many stages of its re-emergence through years, and so many levels of intensity. It is personal, and raw. It is a base thing, it touches everyone. It denies language and turns our heartfelt expressions of sympathy into cliche. It can deepen our capacity to love, or cripple it. It can bond us or break us or heal us. It takes up the deep residence within us that the lost loved one held. Maybe that is why it hurts, physically. Because the grief is sotightlysqueezed into our hearts where the lost love, favorite parent, treasured friend, adored spouse, beloved child still lives. Do: honor your grief, hold onto love, trust in the process, love hard while you can, remember, remember, remember.