Saturday, June 16, 2012

My naked face

Nik and I recently talked about the duality of makeup. It can be an adornment and embellishment, or it can be worn as a mask. I felt strangely defensive during the conversation. I wear makeup every day, and I don't feel like I'm wearing a mask, or hiding my true face. Yet, I won't run to the co-op without makeup. I'll risk missing a UPS delivery rather than answer the door with a bare face. I won't go anywhere without it, and that includes camping. Yes..I put on makeup while camping. 
Only two people ever see me without my 'face' on. My ever-loving spouse Nik and my sparkling unican best friend Carra. And even then, I have in the past 'put on' my eyebrows before Carra comes hang out in pajamas and eat supper and watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Really? I need to put on eyebrows for that? Nik, sweetnik gets the best of me, morning face, crying face, distorted hiccuping laughter face. And while it took awhile for that to happen, I always feel completely comfortable in my face with her.
So, am I hiding from the world behind my mineral veil? Am I deceiving with my filled in eyebrows? Am I applying a veneer over some culturally ingrained shame at my imperfections? Why, yes. Yes, I am. Discoloration, sun damage, wrinkles, blah blah, blah. But when I stop thinking of others looking at my face, and really feel life while looking out of it, I feel such happiness. I feel gleeful and glowing and well. So I thought maybe I ought to go naked, publicly. is my naked face.                                                                                                        

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