Friday, September 14, 2012

PMS. Or, soybeans and cake for supper.

I heard something shocking recently. It started with my little list of 'what the heck is going on with me' symptoms. It ended in this exchange..'Oh, dear. How old are you?' '40 in January.' 'tsk, it sounds an awful lot like perimenopause'. After all of my joking, has it actually begun? I took a quiz on Christiane Northrup's website, and have 'moderate' symptoms, which they go on to explain means I'm 'already in the throes of hormonal imbalance'. This makes me laugh, because it's so dramatic it sounds like I made it up. But I didn't..which is still funny.

I'm also in the throes of PMS right now. My best love and life-time partner-in-living has sweetly given me the next 24 hours to take care of my needs. Which include eating two bags of edamame and a slice of chocolate cake with French butter creme frosting. Watching a documentary (Young At Heart) that my most vibrant bff promises will make me 'sob and sob' but in the good, affirming, heart-full way. Soaking in a lavender epsom salt bath, and reading until I fall asleep right in the very middle of the bed.
Having said that, I really want to unplug right now! So I'll wrap up real quick by saying, whatever the state of my hormones currently, I'm so flippin' happy to be living my life. I feel so loved, and so much love flows right back out of me. I get to be creative in my work every day, or to help someone I love, or to go for an adventure with my favorite person. I feel accepted and safe in my relationship, even in the scary stuff, like exploring healthy ways to express anger. I feel completely supported on my stumbling, leaping, growing, reaching, changing path. In return, I am a safe place. I am loving, and supportive. I practice every day at becoming the most brilliant shimmery unican friend and partner and sister and daughter-in-law that I can be. And I get to keep on succeeding and failing and practicing..every day..right up until the very last one that I'm blessed to live.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

When it rains..

It pours! And we are currently being happily saturated after too too much drought. It's been ages since I've felt this perfect state of in-the-house coziness. It's absolute reading on the couch weather.

There has been much working and adventuring of late. Not a lot of creative work, and the slump has made me feel, well... slumpy. I've experienced ebbs and flows in my creative energy before, but this one has felt so drawn out. I haven't the inclination or energy to make anything new. I'm tired to death of matchboxes, and can't stand to look through my dwindled cache of materials one more time. I've also been beset upon by...Insomnia (dun-dun-dunnnn). I've always been a great sleeper so it's disconcerting when I have trouble. I've had several nights in the last couple of weeks that end up with me in the bath with a book at 1am. The results are irritability, *extreme drama over undramatic events* (what to do when I spill water down the front of myself? Why, weep of course), and afternoons of zoned out, stingy eyed staring into the middle distance. Nap? No! If I nap then I might push myself further into the sleepless spiral and never, ever recover!(see: drama*)

In order to assuage my creative block anxiety, Nik and I took a couple of day trips this week. We walked out to Bird Island..
 I ate a bunny dog at Old Man River...
 We went to Old Fort Niagara which I Loved, but got charged a roaming fee, though we never crossed the boarder into Canada which I did Not love. We are going back for the ghost walk/candle light tour!
 I also got my first wedding favor order! Here is a picture of the sample I made.
They're getting married at the Southernmost Hotel at the end of Duval St, so I got to put the exact location on them! The back will have their names and the date. I'm super excited about this. In a really tired way. :)
Huzzah, huzzah, huzzzzzzzzzzz.