Thursday, January 10, 2013

I Am 40!!

Ohhh, Birthdays! They're funny things. Much like New Years Eve they lose their lustre after a certain point and become a day that is weighted with expectation. A lot of pressure for one day. Eventually they come back aroung to being fun. It is your Birth day, after all. The day that you finally made your entrance upon the stage o' life, and that is worth celebrating!

Turning 10 was Huge. Really, double digits was just so cool.
Turning 16..not much of a big deal, really.
Turning 18, I bought a lotto ticket and my first pack of cigarettes...just because I could (slaps forehead..d'oh!)
Turning 21...*sigh* I honestly don't remember much except that I didn't get proofed.
Turning..26..I cried about being 'nearly 30' and that was 'nearly 40' which felt like the end of it all.
Turning 30...was Huge! I was so thrilled to turn the corner on my tumultuous 20's, and to do it feeling like I looked so much better than I thought I would at 30 (?) Seriously.
And my 30's have been amazing. I quit smoking. I learned how to choose myself, and how to state my needs. I spent a year on my own, and reveled in my independence. I helped start the Queen City Roller Girls, and was happy to move on as the league continued to grow. I fell in love with Nik, and we drove to Key West. We camped in North Carolina. We traveled to Ireland and Belgium, and the Netherlands together. We got engaged in Doolin, Ireland, got married in Nik's parents back yard, and traveled some more. I walked away from my job, became an artisan/crafter, and found reserves of creativity I didn't know I had in me. I found forgiveness and peace with my mom, and was honored to be with her when she died. I grew to feel so much love for my in-laws and found out I'm a sharp shooter with a cowboy pistol. I've camped and kayaked and hiked. I reunited with an old friend, only to let go of her again, and in the space left open I welcomed a friendship that I treasure. I found in me a deep longing for roots, and chickens, and a property to call home...
And so, so much more.
I am striding into my 40's, strong, healthy, happy, and optimistic. In these next 10 years I will continue to cultivate the amazing relationship which I'm so blessed to be in. To grow and adventure and struggle and soar with Nik. To make a home, and work side by side with her to grow food and flowers and raise happy chickens. I will nurture friendships that are, in turn, nurturing and full of love and support and laughter. I will spend so much time with Mammy and Pappy, and help them when they need it and to enjoy their company. I will travel to Europe again. I will keep creating, and keep learning. I will continue adapting to the twists in life's path and will do it with hope and love and wonder lighting the way.

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