I wrote awhile back about the woman on etsy who began making my bridesmaid boxes. I struggled deeply with my belief that she was taking sales from me. I worked through my anger and fear by creating new designs, and improving my own items. Which felt good. I put all of my energy into this, trying to set myself apart from her and to compete with her for sales. For months, I've been doing this. But a few nights ago I had this thought..."When did I stop 'creating' and settle for 'making'?" I haven't created anything in ages. The thing that sets me apart from this woman is my creativity. The bridesmaid invitation boxes are lovely, and I value the connections I make through them, but anyone can make them. My collages, shadowboxes and cards, however, are entirely unique because they are expressions of me! I had lost sight of my joy and my values. Of creating things that I love. When I'm creating, I feel excited. I am full of energy and enthusiasm and ideas. For too long I have focused on making, and competing.
So in my heart, I let the bridesmaid boxes go. I still offer them, I still make them, and I still value the connections and wage I make with them. But my primary focus has shifted back into creating. The thrill that has come along with this internal shift has been amazing! I am full of ideas and a huge burst of energy. The irony is that the day after I let the bridesmaid boxes go, I sold 10 of them.:) Funny how releasing something works.
And so, I am learning how to make tiny books and will create wee small shadowboxes with their very own stories. And I will encapsulate unicorn energy and curiosity and wonder in containers of all shapes and sizes. I will dream and create and share. And I will not need to compete. Because I will simply Be, and no one else can touch that.